Courage

I read a blog post on one of the websites I frequent last week sometime.  The subject was one that she had piggy backed from a blog she recently discovered and that blogger was responding to a writing prompt from the blog networking site "Twenty Something Bloggers:  The Bloggers with the Most To Say."  Anyway to make a long story short reading B's blog prompted me to do two things: 1. to join said networking site (see badge to the left)- 'cause I enjoy blogging and reading blogs and well I'm a 20 something and 2. to respond to the prompt myself.  So here it goes.  

Dear Anon...

And that's as far as I got.  Perhaps I should explain.  The original prompt that started the whole cyclical blogging process was this: We all have something we want to say to someone. Maybe it’s someone in your life now. Or, maybe it is something you wish you said to someone who is no longer in your life. It could even be Mr./Ms. Random Person that you saw in the local coffee shop today. What do you want to say that you were never able to? You can leave the person(s) identity anonymous, if you’d like. Feel free to feature more than one person. Do it in letter form or any form you prefer. Show us that creativity!  

An awesome idea, right?  If you are at all like me, there are a couple of people out there who you could stand to be a bit more honest with about a number of things, some trivial, some not.  Further, perhaps you, like me again, have one person in particular you thought of when you read the above task.  So I've been planning what to write that person, anonymously of course, since I read B's blog.  And now that it comes to actually doing it my fingers won't type the words I want to say.  Not because they are angry words and might cause problems with a relationship.  My thought was never to use this as an opportunity to rant and rave.  

What I really want to say would take great honesty and I just don't have the courage to write it down for everyone to see.  I'm not quite as worried what "Anon" might think (although that does come into play a bit), but the honesty, real honesty that the words of this letter would represent is just too intimate for this open blog.  As much as I want to use this space for open self-discovery, too much of me might be exposed, maybe this is not a journey I'm quite ready to begin yet.  The whole idea kinda reminds me of David Wilcox's song Hard Part.  "I'm strong enough to take it, And I know what you've been through, You've got a whole heart, Give me the hard part, I can love that too." Confession is good and maybe someday I'll feel like I can share what I'm thinking... maybe.       

Just, Margaret